Writergurl95's Blog

Spring Break and Other Good Stuff

writergurl95 — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 04:11:04 +0000

I’m finally out!
I’m free!
Spring break is finally here! I have a week of freedom.
I have one or two homework assignments that I have to do, but I plan on taking care of that right away so I can enjoy my day off.
I needed a break from everything and everyone.
I need to breathe again. You know?
School is so time-consuming.
Anyway, I’m just glad to be off and give my brain a break. It’s been working a little too hard lately.
I feel like I’m letting life slip by me and before I know it, it’s gone.
Anything could happen and I want to see the world and experience the world before it’s too late.
All I do is work and do as I’m told.
How the hell am I suppose to live like I’m dying tomorrow if I can’t do a damn thing?
Think about it…all life is, is going to school for about fourteen years then you have college for however long, then work and other adult responsibilities.
I’ve been thinking about what I want to do after high school and I’m not so sure yet.
Yes! I want to go to college but I always that to travel and do whatever.
I could always go to college then travel. I’m going to be an author anyway.
We’ll see where my road takes me.
So…remember Bob? Good good.
I know what you’re thinking… “Not him again! Anything but him!”, but I have good reason.
I was watching Brothers & Sisters with my sister and at the very end of the episode the mother of the brothers and sisters basically says that forget about ‘the one who got away’ they left for a reason, if they didn’t come back then it wasn’t meant to be. Stop looking in the review mirror and look ahead, because you might miss your turn.
Now I feel the need to tell you, that I’ve tried to get over this fool for a long time.
I’ve tried twice and I’m still falling…on my face.
You know, I feel as though I’ve been greatly misinformed about this whole love thing.
They make it seem so wonderful in the movies and stories, but it’s not.
It’s painful. It makes you bi polar.
For me at least.
First I was shocked, then skeptical, then I has on they happy high, then I felt like crap and was depressed, then I talked myself out of it and faked my happiness, then I angry, then I was jealous, then I was hurt, then I was happy and now I’m indifferent.
In a story I wrote a year ago I said that love was a rollercoaster in the dark.
Who knew I was dead on?
I hate feeling this way. I feel like…I don’t know? No one understands me.
My friends don’t know these feelings as strongly as I do. Maybe they do but they don’t talk about it.
That’s it!
I need someone to talk to. Someone who I can sit face to face with and just vent without feeling weird about it.
I can’t talk about it with my friends because they don’t care. They don’t. maybe they do but they don’t show it.
One of my friends is a tiny bit self centered. She talks about herself and her problems a lot. She seems to have a lot this year, with boys and other friends of hers. In other words she out of the question.
My other friend is more reserved. She’s not a talker, which is good at times. But I don’t think she cares. She might but as I said she keeps to herself, so I won’t know. That rules her out.
My closest guy friend won’t care. I already know. Anyone else wouldn’t care or I don’t know that well. I don’t like telling people my personal life like that. I’m not very trusting; I guess you can say…
I have friends online that care, but I rather talk to someone face to face, like I had said.
My mom is too busy and too obnoxious to talk to and my sister doesn’t care. She does but not enough to sit down and talk to me about it. She’s also extremely self centered, especially now. She has a new boyfriend guy and she’s all about him. He’s taking up all her time. I have to fight to have some sister bonding time with her. If I want to hang out with her its now, but she can grab me whenever.
I’ve been a little mean to her lately, but I’m frustrated.
I think I’m jealous, but I’m not sure what the hell I am.
I want to scream at times. Just run away. I want to run so far and so fast that I leave my problems and feelings behind.
I need someone who I can trust and who will listen. I need a shoulder to cry on.
It feels like no one cares about me any more.
People just say “You’re just Taylor,” like I’m never going to amount to anything.
It pisses me off!
Yes I will! I’m constantly taken for granted and it kills me.
How I’m holding on is a mystery to me.
Maybe it’s my writing and the people who like what I write. That and music I guess.
Everything and everyone is just is just so frustrating.
They say they won’t miss me when I’m gone, but they will and when that day comes, I’ll be the one laughing.
I lost my point….
Oh yeah, Bob…
Yeah…I’m indifferent about him still. They feelings are still there but I’m just a mess I guess.
I remember the day I realized that he didn’t care about me anymore. I was walking in the hallway and I saw him from a far.
Normally he would see me and we would make eye contact. I would smile as we walked by each other holding each others gaze for a while. But that day was different.
He didn’t see me, he saw through me. he didn’t even look my way or at me.
Talk about heartbreak. And the worst part was…I had no one to talk to.
Now one…
I can’t wait for the day when I explode…
Anyway, that’s all, I think.
I feel better so I guess that is all.

What’s good!

writergurl95 — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 06:07:46 +0000

It’s spring bitches!
That much closer to the Summer!
I love the weather and everything about the spring!
Oh but wait! That’s to global warming, we’re getting snow on Thursday.
Goodbye shorts and hello sweat jackets.
But I’m enjoying the weather as much as I can. So that means I’m busting out the short shorts. I’ll wear them around the house.
I don’t want to scare people.

Some times I think I’m not pretty…I don’t know… ignore me!

In other news…All Time Low’s Concert is DAYS away! Twelve days? I don’t know. But! They’re having another concert, similar to the one I’m going to see in May, I think.
Hopefully I can go to that one too.
Today, my mommy, my sister and I are going to paint my sister’s room.
Three girls who never painted before are going to paint…a room…together…
Pray for us.
It should be fun. I’m excited.

This week had been shitty! I mean…crappy.
I don’t know people are like “watch your language!” or “Don’t curse!” like come on dude. It’s nothing we haven’t heard before. I say it, you say it, I hear it, you hear it.
I used to be PG, until I was peer pressured to curse so, here I am, with my sailor’s mouth.
Got to love middle school…
Anyway, I don’t know what was up with me this week but I’ve been feeling like crap.
I don’t know, at school I’m fine, at home…not the same…
I think I was just stressed, plus I started lacrosse so my schedule is all messed up.
I don’t know, this week will be better.
“Maybe it’s not my weekend! But it’s gonna be my year!” – All Time Low.
It hasn’t been my weekend and my year hasn’t been that great…so I guess it’s, maybe it’s not my weekend but next year will be my year.

What else is there to tell you guys….
Not like I have any followers or anything….
Oh! My lacrosse scrimmage! Varsity won and JV, we tied? I don’t know. We weren’t terrible through.
I am good at lacrosse, horrible in games. My best position is middle field.
Anyway! So you remember Bob right? The dude I like. Yeah well, his house is right across the street from the school.
So as Varsity was playing I saw him and his friend run by the field shirtless. Then it was JV’s game and he magically appeared, again, right when I had the ball.
So, I’m sprinting down the field with this tall white chick behind me. My team mate are cheering me on then I threw the ball to my other team mate and she scores.
I look over to the side lines and there he was smiling.
I think it’s sad that, that made my day.

Yesterday was our Fresh Jam. The freshman dance with DJ TouchTone.
I didn’t go.
Dances aren’t really my thing.
I was going to go, but then my mom read the rules and she filled out.
You see, last year, the teens did a lot of dirty dancing, so the rules reflected that and my mom flipped.
So I stayed home blasting music from my computer as I cleaned my room.
I love my social life. I really do.
I don’t mind being alone.

One last thing before I go!
Don’t get too excited now…
I was reminiscing about camp last night. Jesus camp! And I remembered my counselor told us a passage in the Bible. Basically it said that Jesus said that the woman who is well rounded and dresses modestly and all the good jazz, is more valuable than rubies. Back in the day and now rubies are expensive. Jesus said that that girl is more valuable than rubies.
So naturally, as a Christian woman, I try to be this humble, modest chick Jesus wants me to be and I guess I am. Making me, more valuable than rubies.
But you don’t have to be Christian. If you’re a good person than to me your more valuable than rubies. So forget about the dude/chick who rejected you or bumped you because guess what!
You’re more valuable than rubies!

One more thing! I lied before… sorry!
I don’t get why people keep on staring at me.
Lately, my gosh, people have been just starting at me. Like I know dude, I’m not pretty. Get over it! But no…they just keep on starting.
It’s creepy.
I think I’m paranoid now…
Or I’m just imagining it and I should check out a mental hospital…
Anywhore, that’s all for now
Peace and love and I hope your life is much better than mine!

“Stop there and let me correct it, I wanna live a life from a new perspective! You come along because I love your face and I admire your expensive taste!” – Panic! At the Disco.

Music Is My Lover!

writergurl95 — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 06:22:17 +0000

Story time!
I went to the gym with my sister and afterwards we went to get some pizza. Given that, we were in the hood, I hind my Ipod in the glove compartment.
Naturally, I forgot about it. Don’t judge, we had pizza!
Anyway, I’m about to go to bed and I can’t find my Ipod.
I was freaking the freak out!
I need my Ipod, it’s like my teddy bear.
That’s when I realize that it was in my sister’s car. So I had to run out in the cold in my shorts and t-shirt to get my Ipod.
That’s dedication.
So, this whole post is going to be about music and how much I love it.
I would normally share this with people we call friends but they don’t give two twos about what I listen to.
So you guys are going to have to.
As you all should know, I’m in love with All Time Low.
They are amazing.
They’re new album should be coming out on the 22 of March. I’m excited. They have released two songs so far and I love them! One is called ‘Actors’ and the other is ‘Time Bomb’.
Listen to them now!
I’m going to their concert on the 26th of March. That is thirteen days away!
I recently discovered the amazing Escape the Fate.
I love them with or without Ronnie.
Oh, so I don’t get hate mail…
Why does it matter who is singing? Escape the Fate wouldn’t still be a band without Craig. He’s a great guy and a singer so stop hating. Listen to the music, if you hate it that listen to Ronnie’s new band. They’re awesome.
Ronnie and Craig are both sexy, talented and funny great guys.
I don’t care who’s singing, if the songs are good I’m liking it. Get over it people!
Anyway, I’m in love with them. I love Max Green. Dude it crazy.
Moving right along…
Black Vile Brides…
I love them. I do, I do, I do-oo.
Panic! At the disco is popping. Hey Monday is banging!
Did you see they’re new music video for Candles? You have to, I like it.
I think that’s it folks.
If you have any bands for songs you want to listen to and blog about I will. Don’t be shy. I don’t bit.
Oh, by the way. In my other post, That Bitch, I mentioned a song that I bought because of Bob.
It’s “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins.

Yeah…Cliché…

That Bitch!

writergurl95 — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 06:03:12 +0000

Okay, so, remember that guy that I’m partially in love with? Let’s call him…Bob.
Okay, now I have a ‘friend’, by ‘friend’ I might a bitch that won’t leave me alone. Let’s all her, Whore.
Basically the Whore told me that Bob and her were talking about me. She told that he wanted to ask me to the dance or whatever.
Now, before we get excited, the Whore lies, A LOT, plus she might like my man, I mean Bob. After she told I was like, “Dude, you’re lying”. The whore said. “Would I lie to you Taylor”.
That’s when I ended the conversation.
Two days later the Whore tells me that Bob basically said that he liked me and his mom wouldn’t mind if we got married.
At this point I couldn’t tell if she was lying or being honest. So I had planed to talk to Bob about all of this.
Weeks passed and my hopes we set high.
I was hopping that the Whore was actually being honest and Bob did like me so we could date and I would be happy.
I’m such an idiot.
I talked to Bob on Thursday and I was all like…
“Hey Bob, can I talk to you?”
Takes off earphones, “Sure, what’s up?” smiles.
“So, the Whore told me that you guys have been talking about me, is that true?”
Shakes head and smiles, “I’ve never talked to her,”
BITCH! “Okay, cool beans, thanks man,”
“Yeah bye, Taylor,” smile fades.
So, for the rest of the day I felt like otter crap.
At lunch I saw the Whore and told her that I talked to Bob.
The bitch smiled!
SMILED! Like she won the fucking lottery.
I told her to get lost and my ‘best friend’ was like “This is not your table she can sit here”.
Whose side are you on, best friend?
So I stormed out and talked to my guidance counselor.
That’s right, my guidance counselor.
I was at my all time low…
She told me to try to avoid her but commended me for not killing the Whore, like I had planed.
So, I’m extremely pissed at my friends because they act like the Whore didn’t hurt me.
I’m hurt!
They I can stand her, yet they act like she did nothing wrong.
I sat in a corner holding back tears for the rest of my lunch forced to watch them talk to the Whore.
I really don’t think they get. Honestly.
When I say I’m in love, I’m not just saying it to be cool or for attention, I’m meaning it.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve had crushes; they come for a school year then go. I’ve never wanted to pursue one.
Bob is my drug. When I’m with him I’m on this high and I love it.
But when he’s with someone else, green eyed bitch comes out.
I never get jealous, but when some chick is all up on him I’m like…
“Who are you and why are you all up on my man? Get off! Leave! Die in a hole!”
It’s not healthy.
I bought a song because it reminds me for him. Every song I know or hear I think of Bob. It’s sick!
I want to cry at night because he’s not with me.
Do you get it? Do you get how hurt I must feel right now?
Oh! I didn’t even tell you the best part!
The Whore tried to talk to me, then sent me an email. I’ll show it to you.

“Listen, can you just tell me three things….1.)why the hell are you mad me, 2.)what can i do to apologize to you, and 3.) why were you taking this out on everyone at lunch?
listen if your if you’re really that mad at me then do something to me…anything, i really don’t care”

Yeah, I’m not talking to her. Ever.
Everyone has there breaking point and this was mine.
I can only take so much.
This was my breaking point, under control. It couldn’t have been worse.
Thanks for listening to my teenaged drama that you don’t care about. I’ll upload again talking about music!

I’m the Worst!

writergurl95 — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:36:27 +0000

I guess I can’t do anything right now can I.
Everyone accepts so much from me, why?
I hate it!
Stop setting high standers of me; I’m just going to let you down. Then you’ll be mad at me and we’ll start fighting. I’ll say something hurtful as will you then I feel twice as bad later.
I’m trying to be my own person, but how can I do that when you want me to be this or do this.
All you can do is steer me in the diction you want me to be in and hope that I keep on the right track. With God on my side and you behind me when I fall everything will be okay.
But somehow you missed that memo.
I, sadly, am not perfect so please don’t try to make me be. It has to be no fun to be perfect.
I want to be a kid and have fun in the moment, but I’m afraid to let you down.
That’s why I don’t talk to you as much as I do.
I understand that it’s all apart of growing up, but a part of that is learning from your mistakes.
Don’t give me thousands of things to do and expect it to be down before you come home, I’m not the only one in the house with working hands and feet.
Its summer vacation and I don’t want to spend it cleaning and doing things you want to do, but I’ll get it done to make you happy.
Just being a teen aged girl is enough pressure, plus the pressure added by the ones around you. I really don’t want you to come and pressure me too.
I’ve always been told to be yourself, be original, don’t let your life waste by, but how can I do all of that and not let you down.
I’m sorry to say but I’m the type of girl you want me to be.
I’m glade I found myself, but how can I show it with out losing the ones I love?
I know that if I let the real me out no one will like me. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one.
All I can do I try, but I don’t like living this life.
One day my life with flash before my eyes and I want to make it worth watching.
I want to be able to look back and remember the good times where I was my self.
When I look in the mirror I want to be able to see what I want not what you want.
I’m tried of letting myself down and you down at the same time.
How can I make us both happy?
If I told you this would you care? No you won’t.
I’ve tired before, nothing seems to work.
I’ve been told to fight like a warrior and I can do anything.
I guess I lost the war and I cant do anything.
One of these days I will move out and shut you out of my life.
I’ll be free and be able to do what I want.
I’m tried of being put down by the man.
Just STOP! Telling me who I am, what I can and cant do, what I can eat and what I can’t, where I can go and where I cant, when to cry and when to smile. Please just stop.
I may live under your house, but you don’t own me.
No one owns me.
Last time I checked America is a free country. (Please don’t say anything about that statement, okay?)
Your always putting me down one way or another, sometimes I wonder if your really my parents or friends or family or whatever.
You know nothing about me, trust me, I know you don’t.
You wont care if I told you anyway.
The smile I wear on my face is fake, just like me.
I’m tired of complaining, I want to take action.
But how?
My army is small and yours is large.
I have a party of one you have a party of many.
Sometimes, you have to stand in the rain alone, but times like these I wish someone was here beside me.
A shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a person to talk to and actually care.
I bet everyone wants that.
I but I need that.
I’m at the edge, sometimes I want to let go of the rope.
Sometimes, I want to run away. But where to go?
You tell me to make something out of myself and I am.
It may not look like it on the outside, but I am.
My writing may seem like a little hobby or a waste of time, but, in the long run, it will get me places, and if it doesn’t.
I’ll do something else.
My writing is a dream that I’m not going to get up on.
I promise you that.
I guess the point of this blog is to let you know that I’m tried of acting like little miss perfect.
I don’t want to be what you want me to be.
It’s like your afraid I’m going to grown up too fast and leave you.
We’ll I’m not.
Just give me some air to breath and some time.
I’ll always need you, when life hits me too hard or my ‘friends’ leave me in the dark.
I’ll need you.
I also need you to understand that I want to be myself.
I wish I was brave enough to say this to everyone, but I’m not.
They wont care.
It’s okay, if I’m not okay.
This post was scattered brained and probably didn’t make any sense.
I’m sorry about that, but thanks for listening stranger.

I can’t think of the song of the day or the question of the day.
Sorry.

Happy July!

writergurl95 — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 17:13:04 +0000

Hey guys!
I felt like blogging today!
Nothing special happened this week.
I wrote a lot and I have a new story idea.
It’s a musical romantic comedy. So I need songs!
If you have any songs that you like send them to me please.

Anyway! Have you heard about Dailybooth?
It’s like a facebook but not. You take pictures and you upload them.
It’s fun.
Follow me? http://dailybooth.com/Taylor01T
There’s also Formspring.
It’s a website were you people questions, it’s weird yet fun at the same time.
Ask? http://www.formspring.me/Taylor01t

My sister and I washed my dog yesterday…it wasn’t easy.
We normally wash him inside in the tube, but this time we washed him outside.
He didn’t like the cold water so he tried to escape.
We calmed him down then shampooed him, but we needed more water. So we wet him again and he ran away.
So my sister went one way and I went the other to try and get him back to porch.
Long story short, we washed him and now he smells good.
In other news, my grandmother is here from Canada.
She’s been here for about a week I think.
But yeah, she’s going to go stay with my aunt, who doesn’t live that far away, but I will miss my grandma.
Thanks all for now!
Have a great fourth of July!
P.S. I need songs!

Song of the day: All My Life – Foo Fighters

Word of the day: evanescence \ev-uh-NES-ens\, noun:
1. A gradual dissappearance.
2. The state of becoming imperceptible.

Question of the day: If you could ask God any question what would you ask him?

High School

writergurl95 — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 18:50:26 +0000

I graduated the eighth grade on the 23 of June!
I am now a freshman!
I’m a little nervous about high school.
The school is so big and has so many people.
There are so many things to do, like clubs and sports.
I have one honors class so far but that might change. Honors classes are a lot of work.
But on the brightside I have awesome friends who will help me get through high school.

In other news…
Remember that writing contest I entered? Will in two days I get the results back. I’m so nervous about that too.
What if I didn’t win? What if I did win? What if I didn’t win but still got some money?
I’m prepared for both results but I’m still nervous.

I’m entering another contest.
It has to be a funny short story.
I have an idea for it, but I need to make it funny. I will somehow.
That’s all for now.
Have a great summer!

The Plant’s Name Is Lloyd!

writergurl95 — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 18:19:54 +0000

Ello world!
I am sitting on the floor of my sister’s room waiting for her to do my hair.
So as I wait I’ll blog.

I was at Dorney Park today, with my school for our eighth grade trip.
It was AWESOME!
I was with my two best friends and two other friends all day screaming our heads off like wild moneys at the zoo.
Anyway we got wet and we had many near death experiences.
But! The one ride I loved! Was…… Steelforce!
I don’t want to tell you about so you know what its like, cause that’s no fun, but I suggest you go to Dorney and ride it.
It’s all the way in the back of the park, so you’ll have a lot of walking to do.

Anyway moving on to more important things in life, I have reached two hundred fans on my wattpad…account.
Now that’s a millstone!
In other news…the plant’s name is Lloyd.
I was sitting on the floor on my sister’s room when she says to me. “We need to name my plant,”
So I said. “How about Fred or Lloyd?”
Gasp! “Lloyd, that’s totally going to be his name,”
“Lloyd the plant,”
So that’s how the plant, Lloyd, got his name.

That’s all for now!
I’m sorry this blog was so weird, I’m just that tired and that weird.
Now remember kids!
Steelforce! Lloyd the plant! Two hundred fans! 200 fans!
I also still need a romantic comedy story idea or just a comedy!
Story ideas!
Steelforce!
200 Fans!
Lloyd!
Now I got to go get my hair did.
Bye!

The Art Of Being Busy…

writergurl95 — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:55:53 +0000

Busy.
The one thing I hate being.
School work just seems to pill up at the end of the year. I don’t know why.
Anyway, do you remember that story I was writing for the contest. Well I finished it and emailed to them.
So now I wait for thirty days.
In other news…….
I FINSHED MY FIRST STORY!
I’m editing it now and trying to get it published.
I got really good feedback from this story so I hope it does really well if it becomes a book.
I’m working on the sequel now.

Our school year is coming to a close. I’m graduating middle school on the twenty third of June.
Yes, my last day of school is the 23rd of June.
Why you ask.
Because of the snow days.
These last couple weeks of school will be busy with finals, trips, homework etc.
Times like these I miss kindergarten.
Nap time, story time, snack time, everything had a time. Everything was simple, no homework, no test.
I miss it.
Did I mention that the high school scares me…that’s a another blog.

That’s all for now folks, I might only get to blog on the weekends until schools out. Then I’ll blog almost everyday!

Song of the day – Seventeen by Metro Station
Question of the day – If you saw a unicorn in your backyard what will you do?
Word of the day – oleaginous \oh-lee-AJ-uh-nuhs\, adjective:
1. Having the nature or qualities of oil.
2. Containing oil.
3. Producing oil.
4. Unctuous; fawning; smarmy.

At School Bored!

writergurl95 — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:59:48 +0000

I’m in my computer class and I got finished early so decided to blog!
So, here I am!
I’m sitting next to cherry blossom, she says HI!
So, yeah, I’m going to go.
I’ll blog again later!

Song of the Day: Burning up – Jonas Brothers
Question of the day: what does lexicon mean?
Word of the day: scapegrace \SKAYP-grayss\, noun:
A reckless, unprincipled person; one who is wild and reckless; a rascal; a scoundrel.